


Sorry Is Not Enough

by Ebyru



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 9x03, Coda, Drabble, Emotional Hurt, F/M, M/M, Realization, Spoilers, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2017-12-29 14:44:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1006636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ebyru/pseuds/Ebyru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel ends up at the bunker after some help from April Kelly. Dean and Sam are pleased to see him, but then things take a turn for the worst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sorry Is Not Enough

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write my take on what may cause Dean to 'kick' Castiel out of the bunker, and this is the only way I find I would accept that course of action. Spoiler: it's because of April. lol.
> 
> 1- unbeta'd, but if you see any typos, etc please let me know  
> 2- I wrote this at like 1 in the morning so if some things don't make sense, I apologize  
> 3- there's not really any resolution, just reasoning

Sam pats Castiel on the shoulder when he leads him to where Dean is drinking a glass of rum on the rocks. He leaves the room, pointing in the direction of the library. “I'll be in there. Let me know if you need anything.”

Castiel smiles and heads into the lounge towards Dean. For some reason, he doesn’t look up at Castiel, but he smiles like he did that night at the den of iniquity.

“Come join me, Cas,” he says, “you want some of this?”

Castiel shakes his head, but sits across from Dean. Unlike last night, when Castiel stumbled in with clothes that needed washing and a growling stomach, he feels satisfied today. Perhaps it has to do with the people surrounding him: Sam and Dean. (He’ll pretend Crowley isn’t in the dungeon for the time being.)

 

It takes five minutes of them sitting in companionable silence before Castiel’s cellphone vibrates in his jean pocket. He slides it out and Dean’s eyebrows move together.

  
“Where’d you get the phone? Is it the old one from a few years go?” asks Dean, leaning toward Castiel to see the number. Even upside down he catches the name. “April?”

Castiel, while answering her ‘how are you’ text, says, “Yes. She was kind enough to offer me this technology along with comfort.”

“You mean she gave you food and stuff? That’s cool,” says Dean, swirling his drink around his glass. “Did you help her mow her lawn or something? The phone seems pretty expensive.”

“She had asked to spend her first time with me,” replies Castiel, having difficulty typing even three word sentences. “I agreed as she is very beautiful and it seemed enjoyable for most humans.”

“Y-you—” Dean’s eyes bulge, and he licks his lips twice before getting any words out. “You had _sex_ with a woman you just met for a cellphone?”

“No, Dean,” says Castiel, slow and enunciated, as if Dean is hard of hearing. “She offered shelter and clothing as well. I was also curious about intercourse so her offer was--”

“Stop,” snaps Dean, shaking his head. “Shut up.”

Castiel tilts his head, placing his phone face down on the table between them. He curls his hands in his lap. “I don’t understand why you’re angry. I’ve been trying my best to cope with an unfortunate situation, and I believe I’ve been quite successful.” Dean’s lips are starting to lift in a snarl; Castiel needs to find a way to end this argument before it begins. “I’ve lost my virginity as you’d wanted me to in the past. I don’t believe there’s a reason for your anger, Dean.”

Dean throws his chair back and it falls to the linoleum floor. His entire body radiates fury and low-simmering violence as he circles around to stand directly above Castiel. “No, Cas, this isn’t me being mad for nothing again.” Castiel decides it’s best if he stands up along with Dean in case this becomes a physical confrontation; Dean shoves his chair underneath the table so he can’t sit back down. “This isn’t me with my ‘human emotions’, acting out.” Castiel is almost prepared to raise his arms in case he needs to block. “This is _you_ ,” growls Dean, holding a finger up in Castiel’s face, “not understanding.” He moves in closer, and Castiel’s heart pounds so fast he isn’t sure his human body can handle it. But Dean’s words lose their edge; they soften when he sees Castiel’s fear.

“I mean, _Jesus_ , Cas. I thought you got it this time.” His eyes droop with one of many unhappy emotions Castiel can’t differentiate between. “I thought you saw how much you mean to me.”

Castiel tries to speak, but Dean holds a hand up; won’t let him interrupt. “Doing–” Dean swallows, closing his eyes for a brief moment. “Doing _this_ means it was all for nothing.” He backs off and starts moving away from Castiel, nearly out of the room. “That I just spilled my guts to my closest friend, and he didn’t get it.”

Following as Dean paces in front of the doorway, Castiel opens his mouth to speak again. But Dean continues, “I don’t need many people, Cas, but you’re one of them. And that means a hell of a lot.”

He’s back to jabbing his finger in Castiel’s face, but this time he backs him against the closest wall. Their shoes slide awkwardly across the room as he forces Castiel to be led into a corner. “You weren’t supposed to be with anyone. You were supposed to wait for me to come get you. You were supposed to reach this damn bunker. You were supposed to –” He’s shaking even though he’s the one boxing Castiel in with fire in his jade eyes and words that are soaked with hidden meaning.

Castiel’s eyes water when he sees the wrong he’s done. He’s made a grave error, and Dean is always the one who pays the largest price. “Dean…”

The unmistakeable sound of snuffling is followed by a clearing of Dean’s throat. He keeps his head bowed while his palm is flat on the wall next to Castiel’s shoulder. He uses the other to wipe at his eyes.

As he backs away, he says, “No, you know what? I can’t handle this. From you. _Again._ ” Castiel reaches for him, but he avoids the touch, crossing his arms over his chest. “I think you had the right idea about spending some time on your own. You need to help your ‘real’ family anyway.” He hardens his gaze to say, “I don’t want you here.”

The force behind his words doesn’t come from the loudness, but from the stab of them. Castiel now feels exactly the same pain Dean does. Betrayal rushes through both of them, but Castiel can’t blame Dean for his side of it.

Dean is breathing hard, but Castiel can only tell from the way his chest moves. He watches it for a few moments, waiting for it to slow; waiting for Dean to forgive him quickly and change his mind. But it doesn’t happen. It just goes on, and on. Castiel watches the sadness leak out of Dean’s pores, knowing he’s the one who filled him with it.

 

Castiel’s nod is slow, as solemn as the current reunion has become. Dean turns and leaves him there, his eyes downcast as he goes. The sound of a harsh breath startles Castiel, until he realizes it’s his own.

**Author's Note:**

> comments appreciated, if you have the time


End file.
